All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
