'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
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