Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
