I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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