I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
