I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
