then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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