all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
