If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
