It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
