He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
