they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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