is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
