She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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