Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I party with great urgency now.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
