Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
