Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
