it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
