How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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