hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
