But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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