I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
