Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
