Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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