At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
