This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize