you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
