My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize