He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Randomize
