hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
