The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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