Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
