dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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