We need to rekindle our bromance
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
