did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
