I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
