The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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