East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
