I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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