You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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