You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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