I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
