today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
