I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Randomize
