Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
