Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
