you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
