I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
