You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
