I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
