OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
