Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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