my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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