Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
i've created a new STD.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
