im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
