ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
