The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Randomize
