I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She's the barista slut.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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