wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
