I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
