i really wish james franco would like my vagina
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
