I'm laying in your front yard are you home
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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